Showing posts with label Funny. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Funny. Show all posts
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
Monday, April 26, 2010
Another human rights violation?
There might be a protest at the state capitol in St. Paul.
The protest is against the .08 DUI law in that it will unconstitutionally profile Americans of Irish descent, in effect violating the human rights of those with ruddier skin complexion.
One of the many patrons in downtown St. Paul feared being pulled over since he has not only a "Luck of the Irish" bumper sticker but also a "Notre Dame" static window decal.
The patron said, "They are targeting us based on our Celtic appearance. I don't even like Irish Whiskey; and for the record, I prefer Summit EPA to Guinness!"
Jessy Ventura has not commented yet on how this issue correlates to the names of the streets in St. Paul.
The protest is against the .08 DUI law in that it will unconstitutionally profile Americans of Irish descent, in effect violating the human rights of those with ruddier skin complexion.
One of the many patrons in downtown St. Paul feared being pulled over since he has not only a "Luck of the Irish" bumper sticker but also a "Notre Dame" static window decal.
The patron said, "They are targeting us based on our Celtic appearance. I don't even like Irish Whiskey; and for the record, I prefer Summit EPA to Guinness!"
Jessy Ventura has not commented yet on how this issue correlates to the names of the streets in St. Paul.
Sunday, March 28, 2010
The Doctor says:
I do not like this, Uncle Sam.
I do not like it, damned as we am.
I do not like these dirty crooks,
neither how they cook the books.
I do not like when congress steals.
I do not like their secret deals.
I do not like this speaker Nan.
I do not like this "Yes We Can!".
I do not like this kind of HOPE.
I do not like it. Nope! Nope! Nope!
I do not like it, damned as we am.
I do not like these dirty crooks,
neither how they cook the books.
I do not like when congress steals.
I do not like their secret deals.
I do not like this speaker Nan.
I do not like this "Yes We Can!".
I do not like this kind of HOPE.
I do not like it. Nope! Nope! Nope!
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Thursday, September 24, 2009
Eve's Side Of The Story
After three weeks in the Garden of Eden, God came to visit Eve. "So, how is everything going?" inquired God.
"It is all so beautiful, God," she replied. "The sunrises and sunsets are breathtaking, the smells, the sights, everything is wonderful, but I have just one problem.
It's these breasts you have given me. The middle one pushes the other two out and I am constantly knocking them with my arms, catching them on branches and snagging them on bushes... They're a real pain."
And Eve went on to tell God that since many other parts of her body came in pairs, such a s her limbs, eyes, ears, etc. She felt that having only two breasts might leave her body more "symmetrically balanced".
"That's a fair point," replied God, "But it was my first shot at this, you know. I gave the animals six breasts, so I figured that you needed only half of those, but I see that you are right. I will fix it up right away."
And God reached down, removed the middle breast and tossed it into the bushes.
Three weeks passed and God once again visited Eve in the Garden of Eden.
"Well, Eve, how is my favorite creation?"
"Just fantastic," she replied, "But for one oversight. You see, all the animals are paired off.. The ewe has a ram and the cow has her bull. All the animals have a mate except me. I feel so alone. "
God thought for a moment and said, "You know, Eve, you are right. How could I have overlooked this? You do need a mate and I will immediately create a man from a part of you. Let's see....where did I put that useless boob?"
"It is all so beautiful, God," she replied. "The sunrises and sunsets are breathtaking, the smells, the sights, everything is wonderful, but I have just one problem.
It's these breasts you have given me. The middle one pushes the other two out and I am constantly knocking them with my arms, catching them on branches and snagging them on bushes... They're a real pain."
And Eve went on to tell God that since many other parts of her body came in pairs, such a s her limbs, eyes, ears, etc. She felt that having only two breasts might leave her body more "symmetrically balanced".
"That's a fair point," replied God, "But it was my first shot at this, you know. I gave the animals six breasts, so I figured that you needed only half of those, but I see that you are right. I will fix it up right away."
And God reached down, removed the middle breast and tossed it into the bushes.
Three weeks passed and God once again visited Eve in the Garden of Eden.
"Well, Eve, how is my favorite creation?"
"Just fantastic," she replied, "But for one oversight. You see, all the animals are paired off.. The ewe has a ram and the cow has her bull. All the animals have a mate except me. I feel so alone. "
God thought for a moment and said, "You know, Eve, you are right. How could I have overlooked this? You do need a mate and I will immediately create a man from a part of you. Let's see....where did I put that useless boob?"
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