You can't make this up.

Corporations do the funniest things!

A company sent out a company wide email notifying employees there would be no raises at least for the first six months of the year.
This company wide email was sent out on the morning of the day of the company celebration for how well they did the previous year!

A company is planning a large layoff between 1000 and 2000 people.
This Tuesday. (Got any lambs blood?)

The Democrats put down the microphone

And grab the Vaseline:

After a day-long White House summit on healthcare, Republicans returning to the Senate said that President Obama and the Democrats appear ready to go it alone on this issue.

“They’re not interested in putting a 2,700-page bill on the shelf,” said Senate Republican leader Mitch McConnell of Kentucky, referring to GOP demands that the president start over with a step-by-step approach, focusing on issues on which there is broad agreement.

At the end of the summit, Mr. Obama said, “I did not propose something complicated just for the sake of being complicated.” He added, “The reason we didn’t do it is it turns out baby steps don’t get you to the place where people need to go.”

Let me give you a hint, Mr. President. That place "where people need to go"? Don't go there.