Wednesday, October 7, 2009

How to lose a series in 10 ways*

OK, GOM contributors! A fair number of you are baseball fans (with at least a few Twins faithful in the mix), so let's start our own "Top 10" list.

The title of this post refers to the overmatched Twins taking on the New York Yankees in the ALDS. I will start by offering up a couple of sure fire reasons why the Twins will inevitably lose this series. So please, log in and number your submissions.

In no particular order:

10.Start Brendan Harris as your DH.

9. Have Francisco Liriano come in to pitch in a close game.

8. The Curse of Chuck Knoblauch. (kinda, sorta like the Curse of the Bambino)

7. Lack of a special someone to provide team chemistry, like Milton Bradley.

6. Lack of fan optimism makes the players sad and ineffective. :(

5. Whine about being gassed in game one when you decide to elongate champagne celebration the night before.

4. Ask a pitcher who was in AAA for most of the season to make a perfect pitch against Alex Rodriguez in a playoff game.

3. Fail to understand that other teams have scouting departments and can discover things, like that Jose Morales has not yet proven he can hit a major league fastball.

2. Couldn't find enough grade school kids to perform the song written in praise of the Twins.

"Joseph Patrick Mauer. Mmm, mmm, mmm."

1. Complain about your starting pitcher being at a disadvantage for having to endure the 7th inning stretch version of God Bless America as opposed to focusing on feeble roster.














*Post title is a nod to A-Rod's squeeze, actress Kate Hudson.


9 comments:

  1. 7. Lack of a special someone to provide team chemistry, like Milton Bradley.

    ReplyDelete
  2. 6. Lack of fan optimism makes the players sad and ineffective. :(

    ReplyDelete
  3. 4. Ask a pitcher who was in AAA for most of the season to make a perfect pitch against Alex Rodriguez in a playoff game.

    ReplyDelete
  4. 3. Ask a pitcher who should be in AAA to mop up for the starting pitcher.

    ReplyDelete
  5. 2. Ask the starting pitcher to fall on his sword, rather than admit that pitching to Alex Rodriguez with an open base was a bonehead idea.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Actually, #3 is a lot like #9. Sorry. I'll come up with a new #3 anon.

    ReplyDelete
  7. New #3:

    Fail to understand that other teams have scouting departments and can discover things, like that Jose Morales has not yet proven he can hit a major league fastball.

    ReplyDelete
  8. ...nod to A-Rod's squeeze,...


    Such a big difference one stinkin letter can make....

    ....money, fame, fortune, hot chicks...

    Grrrrrrrr

    ...or just a grumpy old man.


    I should have bought THAT vowel.

    ReplyDelete
  9. 2. Couldn't find enough grade school kids to perform the song written in praise of the Twins.

    "Joseph Patrick Mauer. Mmm, mmm, mmm."

    ReplyDelete