GOM Christmas gift ideas

This time it's for the special lady in your life.......

Bra that can be used as a golf putting mat

The trick will be getting her to let you borrow it. I don't generally make it a point to root around MM's undie drawer.

Public Service Announcement for all grumpy old men

You are all aware that cardiovascular health is important; whether you are over 50 like Night Writer, or still a young pup like PalmBoy

It is extremely important to incorporate exercise into our daily routine. This is necessary to maintain cardiovascular health and maintain muscle mass.

If you are over 50, you might want to take it easy at first, then do more repetitions as you become more proficient and build stamina.

Warning: It may be too strenuous for some.

Always consult your doctor before starting any exercise program!

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NOW SCROLL UP

That's enough for the first day. Great job.

Have a beer.

Where Pumpkin Pies Come From

Happy Thanksgiving, Everybody!

Be on the lookout

Did any of you see the story where police in Brazil were able to capture a murder suspect based on this sketch done by an eyewitness. Unbelievable!!

Based on that success. PETA has issued a sketch in connection to a cruelty to animals case. They accuse the culprit of shooting a deer just so that he could get the antlers. They think the fugitive might be hiding out somewhere in Southern California.

Immortal Words

"gee, first i'm a marshmellow confection, and now i'm a jihadist..."

-Gino

Support Government Health Care and You'll Never Die

Wow, now they can guarantee that with government healthcare, you won’t die! Here’s what Harry Reid said:

"Today we vote whether to even discuss one of the greatest issues of our generation – indeed, one of the greatest issues this body has ever face: whether this nation will finally guarantee its people the right to live free from the fear of illness and death, which can be prevented by decent health care for all."

Immortality at last!

(HT: Protein Wisdom)

Just think if he used his brilliant mind for the good of mankind...

Michael Plank arrested at Los Angeles International Airport for strapping 15 lizards to chest

The flight time from Australia to Los Angeles is about 14 or 15 hours. I hope he made sure all the little critters went potty before he boarded the plane.

The guy decided to screw up his life for the chance to make $8000. (unless of course he has some kind of lizard fetish and was going to keep them for himself)

'Tis the season to be an inconsiderate tool

I stopped by the store (Knollwood Cub) on the way home from work tonight to pick up supplies for a daddy-daughter road trip tomorrow.

The Salvation Army bell ringers were out in full force as they have been for a couple weeks now. Of course, these volunteers are (almost) without exception cheerful and polite, wishing passers by a happy holiday regardless of whether they make a donation. Tonight, though, I felt the urge to contribute.

The bell ringer this time was actually a collection of ringers -- a dad with his two young boys. As I put the money in the kettle, the boys smiled, said 'thank you,' and kept on ringing happily.

Then, I noticed the dad. He had his head down, staring at the screen of his iWhatever, texting with one hand and less-than-half-heartedly ringing his bell with the other. He didn't even bother to lift his head up to the folks walking by, apparently figuring he'd sufficiently delegated the pleasantries to the boys.

I'm probably overreacting, but if you're going to ring the bell for the Salvation Army, ring the damn bell. There's a time for multitasking, but that was just rude. I think what annoyed me the most was the example he was setting for his sons. Fortunately, it looks like they got their manners from their mother.

Revenge of the Deer

The hunted becomes the hunter.

It reminds me of the cartoon (caution, Adult Content) about the deer... "Here's your deer sausage!"

Never underestimate the audacity of a buck in rut.
*Grunt!*

After seeing this....

I want to fly to Greenland or Murmansk and buy my dear sweet wife a coat made of polar bear fur. Right after I enjoy a large piece of meat for dinner while wearing leather shoes and praising God for the good things we have because of animal testing.

Or, put differently, if the IQ scale is truly a normal distribution, we know who occupies the negative portion of the curve. Environmentalists and animal rights activists.

(and just to make things clear, my friend ColdFusionGuy is not one of them!)

Grammar lesson

rank [rangk]: –adjective

1. highly offensive; disgusting: a rank sight of carnage.
2. grossly coarse, vulgar, or indecent: rank language.



With that in mind, here is the lesson:

One cannot spell the name of Alan Stuart Franken without "a rank stale fart."

That is all.

Actions have consequenses

IF YOU CROSS THE NORTH KOREAN BORDER ILLEGALLY, YOU GET 12 YEARS HARD LABOR.

IF YOU CROSS THE IRANIAN BORDER ILLEGALLY, YOU ARE DETAINED INDEFINITELY.

IF YOU CROSS THE AFGHAN BORDER ILLEGALLY, YOU GET SHOT.

IF YOU CROSS THE SAUDI ARABIAN BORDER ILLEGALLY, YOU WILL BE JAILED.

IF YOU CROSS THE CHINESE BORDER ILLEGALLY, YOU MAY NEVER BE HEARD FROM AGAIN.

IF YOU CROSS THE VENEZUELAN BORDER ILLEGALLY, YOU WILL BE BRANDED A SPY AND YOUR FATE WILL BE SEALED.

IF YOU CROSS THE CUBAN BORDER ILLEGALLY, YOU WILL BE THROWN INTO POLITICAL PRISON TO ROT.

HOWEVER, IF YOU CROSS THE U.S. BORDER ILLEGALLY, YOU GET A JOB, A DRIVERS LICENSE, SOCIAL SECURITY CARD, WELFARE, FOOD STAMPS, CREDIT CARDS, SUBSIDIZED RENT OR A LOAN TO BUY A HOUSE, FREE EDUCATION, FREE HEALTH CARE, A LOBBYIST IN WASHINGTON AND IN MANY INSTANCES, YOU CAN VOTE.

NFC North QB Rankings - Week 11

T-1)Brett Fav-Ruh (4 TD passes; 88% completion pct)
T-1)A-Rodge (2 TD passes; 345 yards passing)
T-1)Matthew Stafford (5 TD passes; 422 yards passing)
4)J-Cut (Meh)

Oh My Sides

My first reaction was anger.
But anger is a dangerous thing that one mustn't hold on to.
And then I laughed.

It's not a done deal yet, but our government seems hell-bent on taking over the health care system. Eventually that becomes a funny idea. Sure, the generational theft, the covetousness, the disregard for consequences, the fanciful do-goodism, sure these things are enough to make the blood boil. And boy was I hoppin' mad after I heard the news. But in another way it's funny.

The boobs in Washington are going to try to make something work that just can't work. So we'll be able to sit back and see them try to hide the fact that it's not working. They'll talk about various "solutions" all of which won't work because the simple fact remains that removing competition and imposing mandates will have made the system expensive and ineffecient. Will they talk about fixing these problems? Nope. And so we'll be able to sit back and laugh at them.

And then when they can't hide it, we'll get to see them choose scapegoats. Politicians will point the finger at somebody and explain that it is their greed that is messing everything up. I have no doubt that stories will be written about how Generation XYZ is a very selfish generation because none of them want to be doctors. And there will be stories about how greedy corporations aren't producing new medical breakthroughs anymore. No doubt some folks will call for some kind of government intervention to fix the problem. And so we'll be able to sit back and laugh at them.

Also, we'll get to hear them making all kinds of promises of how, when they're elected, they will protect the health care that we have paid for and that we deserve. They'll butter us up and talk to us as if we're responsible adults, not wards of the state, and they say things like, "I will fight, FIGHT to protect your rights!" and "I promise not to cut one thin dime of benefits." And so we'll be able to sit back and laugh at them.

Oh yes, this is going to be quite the treat, especially if you like lying, scapegoating, pandering and posturing!!! Oh, and if you like lousy and expensive health care then you're in luck too.

OK, that's just wrong!

It's been almost a year since I've joined the time suck social networking web site Facebook, and I continue to enjoy it....for the most part. It's helped me keep in touch with relatives on a weekly basis when I wouldn't otherwise talk to them but three times a year, maximum. It's also a great way to catch up with friend/acquaintances to whom I haven't spoken in many years.

But it's also a reminder on how quickly life is movin' on.

Over the summer I got in contact with the girlfriend I had in 8th grade. I literally hadn't talked to her in almost 25 years, so there has been a lot to catch up on. Since she's only two weeks younger than I, we have a lot of the same interests. However, life has taken us on two dramatically different paths.

Her status update for today: "Can't wait for my second grandchild to make her 1st appearance!!!!"

With that, I have begun to ascertain one of the downsides of Facebook. It reminds me how old I am.

Did you ever notice....

....that there's a picture of Gino at the bottom of this blog?

Pronoun Antecedents

Pronouns without antecedents
Clearly are not very clear.
"He is gaffe-tastic, imprudent!"
Might refer to any old dear.
"He doesn't know history" could be
A word about any old joe.
"He bows" and "he scrapes" and "he grovels"
Don't have to refer to B.O.

How about it?

Wouldn't it be fun if American Standard did in fact support the "American Standard Toilet Bowl," and invited the worst two teams in the country to play in Lambeau Field on January 1? We could have Foot (or possibly Ben) be the grand marshal for the parade......

....and hopefully the worst two teams in the country would be from the South....

Ninja Pass

Reminder from Careful Thought

November 19

TOTUS goes rogue again

Funny stuff:


Obama's Home Teleprompter Malfunctions During Family Dinner

In fairness to the President, I am also guilty of calling my daughter "Jennifer" from time to time. Of course, that's her name...

-----

Aside: I thought I recognized the blonde reporter in this clip. After several minutes of intense Googling, I'm 95% sure "Ana Gentry" is Suzanne Sena, former Fox News babe. I'm glad she's still working -- I wonder if ridiculing Obama qualifies as a job "saved or created" by the administration.

Ninja FAIL

I hope this guy was wearing his Nutty Buddy.

SEATTLE (AP) — Seattle police say a man who thought he was a ninja was impaled on a metal fence when he tried to leap over it.

An officer who was looking for an assault victim nearby Monday night heard the man screaming for help.

Police supported him to prevent further injuries until medics arrived and took him to a hospital, where he was in serious condition in intensive care on Tuesday.

Police spokeswoman Renee Witt wrote in a department Web site posting that officers thought the man might have been involved in the reported assault, but he insisted he was just a ninja trying to clear a 4- to 5-foot-tall fence.

Witt says the man was "overconfident in his abilities," and that alcohol likely played a role.

Alcohol played a role? I'm stunned.

Add it to the list, everyone. Alcohol does not make you smarter, better looking, a better dancer, a better singer, ...

Or a ninja.

Fill in the bubble contest....

"I wish he'd kiss my ass like he's been doing to every world leader"

The guy is front and center in a picture that is probably being seen around the world, and he gets snapped with a moronic look on his face---nice timing.

GOM Christmas gift ideas......I'll take two

The Beast (from Spitjack)

Cooking equipment that's strictly for men.

“When guys sit and look at a fire they think, ‘cook.’ Women don’t think that when they see a fire. They think other things. Men, we want to put something in it and cook it,” Frankel says. So he started searching for equipment and SpitJack was born.

Just think how many squirrels you could put on this thing!

Good news for Michigan fans!

Word has it that American Standard has issued the University of Michigan a bowl invitation for the second straight year....and if the Spartans aren't careful vs. Penn State this weekend, they might have a rematch with the Wolverines this winter.

You got a license to fly that?

This is reminiscent of me while watching the Cowboys/Packers game yesterday:


"I got your Music City Miracle right here!

Difference is, of course, the Titans won their game.

NFC North QB Ratings — Week 10

1) Brett Fav-ruh
2) A-Rodge
3) Chuck Long
4) J-Cut

How 'Bout Them Cowboahs?

Charles Woodson and the rest of the victorious Green Bay Packers would like you to know that the Stover-bashing lamp is lit.

Pizza Trivia

There's a bar/dining establishment just outside of Buffalo that we pass every time we head over to the big city. They must have recently had a change of ownership, and now there's a new sign out front. The sign is saying that they have "Detroit Style Pizza."

I've heard of Chicago style, New York style; I've never heard of Detroit style---have any of you?

I wonder if it's pizza so good that you'd kill for it, that would be indicative of Detroit nowadays.

If you know what's special about it, you're definitely a pizza aficionado. If not, this is what a Detroit style pizza is all about:

It is a square pizza, with a thick deep-dish crust with toppings placed under the sauce.

The crust of a Detroit-style pizza is especially noteworthy in that, in addition to occasionally being twice-baked, it is baked to a chewy medium-well done state, and many parlors will apply melted butter with a soft brush prior to baking.

It's a matter of priorities

With the pending release of Sarah Palin's book Going Rogue, the mainstream media decided to do some "fact checking". As such, the Associated Press dispatched several reporters to decipher the factual basis of a book written by a failed Vice Presidential candidate who no longer holds any official position in politics.

In the end, the AP contends that the former governor of Alaska may have fudged on some things, like Palin's claims of frugality when conducting state business. However, the AP's exhaustive research uncovered one instance where a five-day trip to a women's leadership conference cost the Alaskan taxpayers (GASP) $3,000!!

Seriously?!?!?!

Say, now that you're done with that all-important, vital piece of "fact-checking", I suggest taking on a much more daunting (if not infinitely more relevant) task: How about reading the entire 1,900+ page health care bill which recently passed in the U.S. House? Any chance you could uphold the claims made by Nancy Pelosi & Co. that this abomination bill wouldn't threaten the financial sovereignty of our country? How about the proclamation that Americans will not face steep fines for not enrolling in government-run health insurance? And lastly, the emphatic denials by liberals that a bunch of government bureaucrats would be given the purview of deciding the amount of health care sickly people would receive.

Get back to us on that, will ya?

Love and Hate (Liberal Edition)

Liberals love equality!

Liberals hate some people doing better than others, especially the wrong people.


Liberals love the idea that we can make things better, especially if we work together.


Liberals hate the idea that man is inherently imperfect and that life necessarily contains sorrow.

Liberals love sharing.


Liberals hate rich folks who think that they deserve to be rich because of their hard work.

Tark the shark

When Brett Favre was once again considering coming out of retirement earlier this year, Hall of Fame QB Fran Tarkenton sounded off. In short, Sir Francis was less than complimentary.

“I think it’s despicable. What he put the Packers through last year was not good. Here’s an organization that was loyal to him for 17, 18 years, provided stability of organization, provided players. It just wasn’t about Brett Favre. In this day and time, we have glorified the Brett Favre’s of the world so much, they think it’s about them."

Shortly after Tarkenton made those comments, KFAN radio guy Dan Barreiro pointed out that Tark implying that someone is self-absorbed was the equivalent of Michael Vick condemning a person for smacking a dog with a newspaper.

But I digress.

Now that Tark has had to digest a little crow due to Favre's solid performance thus far this season, Sir Francis has taken to savaging another NFC North quarterback. This time it's the Bears' Jay Cutler who is the object of his ire.

"I really question whether he can play," Tarkenton, the Hall of Fame quarterback and former Minnesota Viking, said Friday on "The Waddle and Silvy Show" on ESPN 1000 in Chicago. "Quarterbacks need to make their team better. If it's a bad team, they can even make a bad team better. Somebody may say well, even Peyton Manning couldn't help the Bears. Yes, he could. Tom Brady could, too. They might not win the championship or get to the playoffs, but they would make that team better. Those wide receivers who are struggling would be better because they would make them better."

Has Fran gotten bored? I mean, he's more than welcome to sound off on any subject he desires. But ever since he had the opportunity to grope co-star with Cathy Lee Crosby on the 80s TV Show That's Incredible!, Fran seemed to back away from anything related to football, until recently. What's brought him out of hiding? Has Tony Robbins cut him off completely?

NFC North QB Ratings — Week 9.5

1. Brett Fav-ruh
2. Randy Wright
3. Rodney Peete
4. Bob Avellini

Subject to further revision after Sunday's results.

Cash for Clunkers Chart of Comparison

Beneficial, no?

Even more painful to look at is this Demonstration Video, showing how to seize an engine, as per the Cash for Clunker program.

GOM Christmas gift ideas

Just what every GOM needs during the holiday season: Manpod

I'd like to get one and put it in the bathroom---install a mini-fridge as well and you'd never have to leave the room.

Here's a thought

Helmets might be the reason that there are so many head injuries in football. Counter-intuitive, to be sure, but think about it; if you didn't have an inch of foam around your head, would you bang it against another player?

I always thought that real men played rugby or Aussie rules anyways. You can't put on an extra 100 lbs of muscle and fat if you actually have to run around with it.

Odocoileus virginianus

The deer hunting season started last Saturday.
The wife shot at and missed three deer.
I saw a bunch of does and an eight point buck walked under but BEHIND my stand and did not offer me a shot.
My brother-in-law shot a spiker and an eight pointer.

Three days hunted; seven more to hunt!

This is kinda what I am looking for:


Or something like this:

Or this:

2009:
TBD

2008:
6 pointer
Doe

2007:
10 pointer (200+ lbs)
Spiker

2006:
10 pointer (200+ lbs)
5 pointer
Doe

Holy Hind's Behind Batman

I am not kidding on the timing of this----I'm driving home from work tonight, and I'm thinking about how I was going to work Gino into a post related to the following story:

Illinois Driver Hits Two Deer in 10 Minutes

when this frickin deer comes bolting across the road right in front of me. I would guess that I came within two feet of ramming right into it's ass. By the time my own butt cheeks became unglued, I had forgotten about trying to abuse Gino, and was just thankful my little Saturn survived another close encounter with Bambi.

Jumping to conclusions

President Obama, following the arrest of his buddy, Skip Gates: "But I think it's fair to say... that the Cambridge police acted stupidly..."

President Obama, following the terrorist massacre at Fort Hood: "We don't know all the answers yet and I would caution against jumping to conclusions until we have all the facts."

So what's the difference between the two situations? In the former, few details about the incident were yet available when Obama made his decree. In the latter, we know the shooter, Maj. Nidal Hasan, had a history of anti-Americanism, had or sought ties with Al Qaeda, and shouted "Allahu Akbar" right before he started spraying bullets.

As more details come out about Hasan, Obama is still unwilling to acknowledge the Fort Hood shooting for what it is: the first terror attack on American soil since 9/11.

Maybe we can at least agree that Hasan acted stupidly? Or maybe Obama will host a beer summit with Hasan and the victims' families.

Star Tribune Almost Gets it Right!

"The U.S. House of Representatives passed a radical, backward measure on Saturday..."

So says the Star Tribune's editorial today. I couldn't agree more. Of course the twits on Portland Avenue aren't actually talking about the bill that passed the US House of Representatives on Saturday night. You know, the one that is trying to take over the whole freakin' American health care system. No, these chronically obtuse journalists are talking about the amendment that passed beforehand to ensure that abortion would not be funded. Because for enlightened Americans the only cause for concern is that the feds won't be paying for baby killing. Because not paying for baby killing when you conduct a legislative coup d'etat over a sixth of the economy is the really radical and backward thing.

PS: Chemosh and Molech are surely pissed off that their subsidy got cut.

The Health Insurance Deform Bill, Explained

Nah, you don't have to read all 1990 pages or whatever. Here is Nancy Pelosi's argument in one sentence:

The way to reduce healthcare costs and make healthcare affordable for all is to look up everything the insurance companies tell us would be ruinously expensive, and write all of those things into law.

Some Further Thoughts

Earlier I shared some thoughts about why the health care debate (and the government in general) is making me so cranky. I wrote, "I'm so concerned about the health care debate because I feel vulnerable to arbitrary power. I no longer trust the government to respect the limits of the law." That's true on an instinctive level. I hear Pelosi spout off or Obama lie like a champion and I want to smack their heads together and stop the madness. On this level I feel myself getting aggressive and angry because they aren't playing by the rules and they need to be stopped. This is Dirty Harry mode.

But Dirty Harry mode is a lousy way to live; it's reactionary. It's incapable of creating life or sustaining it. It's all about catharsis, but catharsis goes flat. It's about setting people straight, but other people aren't objects and life isn't that mechanistic. However tempting the thought might be, it won't work to simply impose one's will. That, after all, is the problem in America. Folks are usurping the law (or ignoring it) to impose their will.

So what to do with this crap sandwich? My lovely wife is a Godsend (both literally and figuratively). As I prattled on about these things one night she cut me off.

Though the fig tree should not blossom, nor fruit be on the vines,
the produce of the olive fail and the fields yield no food,
the flock be cut off from the fold and there be no herd in the stalls,
yet I will rejoice in the Lord;
I will take joy in the God of my salvation.
God, the Lord, is my strength;
he makes my feet like the deer's;
he makes me tread on my high places.

Isn't it nice to have a wife who quotes Habakkuk? But I needed to hear that. And I need to hear it every day. My security does not come from government, it comes from God. Full stop. I will be secure in him all my days no matter the foolishness that men concoct. However, that does not mean that I resign myself to it. Quite the contrary. As a man made free by Christ I am a slave to no other. And of course that is the very basis upon which this country was founded! I never memorized the Declaration of Independence, but I think it's a good idea. I think I'll do it with my kids. For the time being, though, here is a particularly striking paragraph that attests to these ideas and the promise that remains for a brighter future.

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights, that among these are life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. That to secure these rights, governments are instituted among men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed. That whenever any form of government becomes destructive to these ends, it is the right of the people to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their safety and happiness. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shown that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such government, and to provide new guards for their future security.

Some Thoughts on the State of America

I've been thinking a lot about the whole health care situation. Really, I've had the government as a whole on my mind. And usually this has been accompanied by crankiness. I hate what they are doing and it feels as if everything is upside down. The thought that keeps recurring is "They are trying to destroy this country." But what I hadn't really done until this morning (and really I've only just begun), is think about why this disturbs me so much. I leaned back in my chair and tried to put my finger on it.

Once, when I was in college, I watched Goodfellas. I hated it. There was something about that movie that just gave me the creeps. Thinking back, I hated how gangsters treated weaker people like garbage; they could do whatever they liked because they had the power. I felt the injustice of it all. Also, I feared the brazen lawlessness. And, truth be told, I wanted those people to suffer and die because they had violated what it means to be civilized human beings and because their existence was a threat to decency.

I think that the reason I have such hatred for what Congress and President Obama are doing is because they show so little regard for the law and for other people. My impression of them is that they are operating on the basis of power, without concern for law or truth. And so I despise them because they are a threat to civilization and basic human decency. Also, I fear them because without law, the future becomes arbitrary. When a society ceases to respect rules, security can only come from having power.

Taking a broader view, however, Obama and this particular Congress, much though I dislike them, are not the problem, they are the symptom. The problem is that this society seems not to respect the law anymore. Our government doesn't respect its own law, the Constitution. Judges aren't bound by the law, but bind others with it. We don't take our own immigration law seriously. Politicians are not help to account for ethics violations. Elections are swayed by fraud and lawyers while common sense reforms like required photo ID are rejected. Our society seems like it is becoming arbitrary. Getting and keeping power becomes exceedingly important, because your own rights are not safe when the other folks are in power.

And so that's it. I'm so concerned about the health care debate because I feel vulnerable to arbitrary power. I no longer trust the government to respect the limits of the law. They might decide to do absolutely anything. Interestingly, this is the exact reason that the War for Independence broke out 233 years ago.

(I'm leaving out something big, or rather, someone. A bit more later.)

Ya know why....

....Iowa doesn't have a professional football team? 'cause if they did, Chicago and Detroit would want one, too.

In other Chicago news, Hizzoner Daley has been caught with a slush fund of property tax revenue while the city isn't bothering to pick up trash. With competence like that, it's clear where the Bears are getting their inspiration this year.

Oy there, Orton.

K. Orton

23/38

221

5.8

0

3

43.9

Anger management issues

This is why I shaved my head -- Yikes!

Grumpy Old Man of the Week

Apparently, there are still a few tough editors in the MSM:

Fists Fly After Post Editor Tells Writer, "It's the Second Worst Story I Have Seen in Style in 43 Years"

Here's something they apparently don't teach in Journalism school: reporters with hyphenated last names shouldn't call their editor a name that requires a lot more hyphens when it appears in a family newspaper if:

• The editor is 70-years-old
• a Pulitzer Prize-winning
• an ex-marine

Doesn't it make you think of Lou Grant? "Rossi, you bury the lead again and I'm going to bury my foot in your tucchis."

NFC North QB rankings thru Week 9

1) Brett Fav-ruh
2) J-Cut
3) Matt FlynnDavid Whitehurst
4) Greg Landry

(I changed this a little, Brad. David Whitehurst lost plenty of games to dorks in orange shirts--Mr. D).

Another G.O.M. Gift Idea

It's the Trailer Park Starter Set. And it has a 2-year warranty!

Aaron Rodgers is a Loser

I could say more, but why? This pretty much sums it up.