Wednesday, May 8, 2013
Now if this were simply at Midway on the South Side, we could simply think it were simply a stunt pulled by supporters of the Axis of Evil. However, O'Hare is northwest, and hence we must assume that the curse of the goat is alive and well, being nourished and sustained by grass grown on life-giving greenhouse gases provided by the generousity of business travelers, many of them, ironically, Cubs fans.
Monday, February 11, 2013
Friday, January 25, 2013
ODE TO A HAGGIS
Poor devil! see him owre his trash,
Tuesday, January 8, 2013
Hatchback, sliding doors
Pass out the books in case the kids are bored
V6, sun shades
And she’s a-thinkin’ that she’s got it made
She comes a runnin’ just as fast as she can
‘cause every mom’s crazy ‘bout a minivan
Loose jeans, Diamond ring
And she’s a-missin’ not a single thing
Diaper bag, running shoes
Don’t tick her off or you’re a-gonna lose
She comes a-runnin’ just as fast as she can
‘cause every mom’s crazy in a minivan
Six kids, in six seats
600 miles in the snow and sleet
Black tires, driving gloves
Lookin’ sharp with the products of love
She comes a runnin’ just as fast as she can
‘cause every mom loves her little minivan
Thursday, October 11, 2012
Thursday, August 16, 2012
Thursday, August 2, 2012
Tuesday, July 10, 2012
(for the uninitiated, "poolish" is a pre-ferment similar to sourdough used for making breads but literally means "Polish", and a "batard" is this style of bread.....or if you add an "s" before the t, you have the English meaning of the word)
And of course, there was great rejoicing here.
Saturday, June 2, 2012
Most folks could see through the self portrayal of a "moderate female heterosexual" for what she really is... some saw her as a bitter dyke that blames men for all the worlds ills. Yep, those eviiil men like mberg, that "old and white, flabby and crabby" neo-con!!!
Do you think coming out will improve her view on men?
Friday, May 18, 2012
KingDavid - Ironman/Tony Stark -Fearless leader, the one with the wit in times appropriate and not. Also, pretty fly for a white guy. And Crotchety.
Captain America - BikeBubba - A man out of time in thought and method, but somehow very much on time. Has a strange persistence in telling about Jesus.
Black Widow - W. B. Picklesworth - Not entirely sure. Probably Russian. We may never know. ;)
Mr. D - Hawkeye - The one who will count the dead with accuracy inerrant.
K-Rod - Thor - Where does he come from? How does he wield such a mighty hammer of intellect? Whats with the hair?
Nick Fury - Brad Carlson - Has a keen eye for what is going on both above and below the surface, and has a deep appreciation of American baseball.
NightWriter - Agent Coulson - Always ready to party.
Palm Boy - Loki. The kid brother playing with stuff he doesn't understand and might should not meddle with.
Gino - The Hulk - The only possibility for Bruce or Gino. Steals the show, impresses the ladies, and has fun doing it.
Friday, May 11, 2012
Were you born male?
Apparently the FDA has decided to allow "transgender" people to donate blood, and thus to allow the one in 30,000 people claiming this to donate blood, they need to ask this obnoxiously hilarious question to every blood donor.
I'm guessing that "politics" has a little more to do with this one than "medicine" and "necessity to get enough blood."
Friday, April 27, 2012
WRAL: "In a paper titled "The Proof of Innocence," senior research scientist Dmitri Krioukov successfully appealed his failure-to-stop ticket by explaining that he may have appeared to an officer that he didn't stop when he actually did, according to the Los Angeles Times (http://lat.ms/I5ZCUw )."All you need to know is classical mechanics and a little bit of geometry," Krioukov told the Times.The calculations were very simple and took five to ten minutes, and writing the four-page paper took a few hours, Krioukov said."
Thursday, April 26, 2012
Worth reading in its entirety, but this section alone filled me with amusement:
"One can of Spam. Just regular 'classic' Spam. Don't waste your time on the various varieties of less-unhealthy, more-spicy, or fowl-derived Spam. Those ain't Spam. This recipe calls for Spam. The Real Thing. Just get Spam, OK?"
Sunday, April 22, 2012
As Pat the Pernicious Peevish Girl has now officially claimed:
"The commenter formerly known as K-Rod"
Sunday, April 15, 2012
Thursday, April 12, 2012
Hmmm, foresaw I did, mayor to be. Now that it has happened, look to Mr D.
Office of the M.O.B. mayor.
I'm thinking I could be the official MOB Yoda or some sort of cabinet department of.... or secretary of the force...
Monday, March 26, 2012
"you have to pass the bill to find out what's in it."
ObamaCare forces citizens to purchase a specific product, in this case health "insurance"... The penalty of breaking this law could range from a fine/tax or even possible imprisonment...
When challenged, the Liberal Fascists now say 'don't act now, just wait and see how ObamaCare unfolds'...
Because they know that once its roots take hold you will never get rid of it no matter how much it hurts our country!
Thursday, January 19, 2012
Students at a new Utah high school are facing disappointment after their choice for a new school mascot was rejected for one of the strangest reasons possible: Board members deemed it might be seen as offensive to middle-aged women.
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
California has a "Three Strikes" law where a minor drug charge can effectively send somebody to prison for life.
Though I believe that most cops are honest, I do know through personal experience that some of them have a tendency to not be.
In this case, we have a clear situation where the cop was crooked.
Months after pleading guilty, the former Costa Mesa resident said he learned the substance was not cocaine after all. Timothy Slappy succeeded in having the conviction sealed and removed from his criminal record and, in March 2011, filed a lawsuit against the city, asking for $1 million.And it seems that those who run the departments, such as District Attorneys are corrupt as well.
In the federal suit, lawyers representing Slappy claimed the officer planted the substance during the search, and that laboratory results that would have exonerated Slappy were kept hidden from him while he made his plea deal.So, we have a D.A. who knew his evidence was fraudulent and still bullied an innocent man into a guilty plea.
Eventually, justice would prevail in this case. Who knows how many others might be living with convictions when we know how this case occurred.
It was in spring of 2010 that Slappy was called to Harbor Court in Newport Beach, where he said he was subpoenaed for a hearing regarding Harris and several complaints that had been filed against him.
According to the suit, it was there that Slappy was told by Costa Mesa detectives that the evidence found on him was not rock cocaine.
Now, here is my bitch:
Why was it necessary for the aggrieved to petition the courts that his conviction be expunged? Shouldn't that have been automatic? You'd think so, anyway.
The public needs to be notified as to the fate of Officer Harris, whatever punishment or discipline was administered... and to the D.A. and prosecutor as well.
No less than three people in a position of public trust need to face criminal charges in this matter, and at least two of them should be looking at serious jail time.
Monday, January 16, 2012
Monday, January 9, 2012
Friday, December 30, 2011
Fortune favors the bold, and the guy who goes first, so I’m going to grab some low-hanging fruit with mine. My picks for 2012 are:
To review this year’s results, Brad and I tied. I had one — Murray Warmath. I missed on the following:
Brad was right with Harmon Killebrew and missed with:
If you’d like to reuse my 2011 list for your 2012 entrants, feel free — they let me down, the weasels. I’ll let Brad tell you if he retains ownership of any of his 2011 choices.
And if you’re looking for low-hanging fruit, be sure to pick Etta James. If you want to play, add a comment or post your own.
Bobby "The Brain" Heenan
Jean-Claude Van Damme
Zsa Zsa Gabor
Sunday, December 4, 2011
Wednesday, November 2, 2011
I love mustard, and it was time for a picnic. My wife had made me a wonderful sandwich--thick slices of ham with a generous dollop of mustard and a leaf of romaine lettuce on a whole wheat bread--and I was just about to eat it when my wife asked me to hold our son while she went to the bathroom.
While holding our son in one hand and the sandwich in the other, I noticed that there was mustard on my arm. However, with the sandwich in one hand and my son in the other, I couldn't do anything about it--until I realized I could lick the mustard off my arm. What genius!
I licked the mustard off my arm.
It was not mustard.
And at the same time, my dear sweet wife came out of the loo, noticed what I had done and my attempt to wash it off with as much water as the fountain could deliver, and was laughing so hard I was afraid she would pass out.
(any resemblance to Ben is purely intentional, of course, but the real story is that I sent this joke to a former pastor, who--to my horror--read it before Wednesday night prayer meeting)
Tuesday, October 11, 2011
Tuesday, October 4, 2011
Monday, September 26, 2011
Monday, September 19, 2011
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
Brad adds: Rep. Jeff Flake (R-AZ) had this perspective via Twitter:
Earthquakes hit Washington, next week hurricanes, after that frogs and locusts, then the worst plague - Congress returns.
Monday, August 15, 2011
But as with any candidate, Perry will be dogged by insane rumors which seemingly get conjured up out of thin air. For example, in 2000, candidate George W. Bush was rumored to have been drinking alcohol again. In 2008, a certain subset of Barack Obama detractors questioned whether or not he was even born in the United States, which is a requirement to be President. With Perry, there are some crazy innuendos on how he's living a secret life as a gay man despite being married to a woman.
But to David Burge, proprietor of the Iowahawk blog, that matters not. In fact, back in June when there was heavy speculation Perry would jump into the Presidential race despite declining initially, Burge gave his unconditional endorsement.
Is Rick Perry gay? I don't care. In fact, if he cuts Fed spending by a real 10%, I'll do him personally.
Not that there's anything wrong with that.
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
Thursday, August 4, 2011
-Guglielmo Marconi, radio man.
While not strictly a comment on the Texas summer, it has a keen resemblance to the emotions of those of us living here.
This is my back porch. North side under the roof, in the shade all the livelong day. It tells no lies.
It's hot even for Texas, we're setting records for electricity usages. Increased population accounts for some, part is due to the paradox of thrift... the more efficient our consumption becomes, the more energy we will harness.
Sunday, July 24, 2011
Don't give up hope. Medical technology has come a long way and the best is yet to come. I've moved on from developing cardiac devices and am now on the forefront of implantables and devices for microsurgery and implantable biologics.
The team led by Langer and Zeitels has now developed a polymer gel that they hope to start testing in a small clinical trial next year. The gel, which mimics key traits of human vocal cords, could help millions of people with voice disorders—not just singers such as Andrews and Steven Tyler, another patient of Zeitels'.
About 6% of the U.S. population has some kind of voice disorder, and the majority of those cases involve scarring of the vocal cords, says Sandeep Karajanagi, a former MIT researcher who developed the gel while working as a postdoc in the Langer lab. Many of those are children whose cords are scarred from intubation during surgery, while others are victims of laryngeal cancer.
Other people who could benefit are those with voices strained from overuse, such as teachers. “This would be so valuable to society, because every time a person loses their voice, say, a teacher or a politician, all of their contributions get lost to society, because they can’t communicate their ideas,” Zeitels says.
Thursday, July 21, 2011
.....yeah, I'm guessing some people might be confused and disappointed to arrive on campus to get an invitation to "Cru" and find it was a Bible study.
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
Friday, July 1, 2011
Now, leaving aside for a moment that the NCAA will accept the "Seminoles," but not the virtually identically portrayed "Illini" or "Fighting Sioux", and leaving aside for a moment that using a name for your sports team is generally intended as a measure of respect to convey the idea of being manly and a worthy opponent, and leaving aside for a moment the question of whether other ethnic names like "Fighting Irish" or "Spartans" or "Banana Slugs" are obnoxious, consider where the NCAA is meeting North Dakota elected officials to discuss the fate of the Fighting Sioux moniker.
Indianapolis, a city of course named after Native Americans, and, AHEM, the headquarters of the NCAA. You'll need a sharp knife to cut through that hypocrisy.
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
Monday, June 27, 2011
Given Ben's occupation, I'm going to suggest "John Paul," "Trent," and "Ignatius." He might think "Martin" or "Philip" better, though. And of course, there's always "Salathiel."
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
Anyhow, here is exactly what she wrote:
Does anyone else find it simply stupid reading posts from ppl that say they are at the McDonalds drive thru or the grocery store or at home? Come on, like I really care. post something interesting like you are at a concert or something. Sorry if I offend anyone but I am already crabby...
For the record, I would like to point out that this lament comes from the same person who posted closeup pictures of herself getting her navel pierced. Yes, the fat rolls and stretch marks (she's had a few kids in the past ten years) were there for all her Facebook friends to see.
To be fair, I didn't find it stupid as much as I did....well.....utterly freaking repulsive.
Saturday, June 11, 2011
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
"WE WANT TO SAVE THEM -
We need help to Remove BEES - come over and get them out house
Bees are under siding - 8 Ft tall from ground - and probably 3 ft away from wall -
Will help with any assistance - as long as you take them all
location near by I20 and GREAT Shout West
REPLY with phone number - so we can discuss details - THANK YOU - "
"bee hive in siding/roof of carriage house in Fairmount. I thought someone came and got the hive, the last time I posted this, but it was the neighbors trying to kill them
call 817-247-0919 "
Further Updates may follow
Saturday, June 4, 2011
Thursday, June 2, 2011
Seriously, I think it's time to stop the "Mickey Mouse" efforts to teach innumerate Americans how to eat right with new gimmicks, and admit that the past 50 years of government proselytization regarding diet have achieved nothing but failure. If they didn't understand the "four food groups" I learned as a kid, or the food pyramid that was introduced in the 1990s, they're not going to suddenly figure it out with Mrs. Obama's plate, either.
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
What's made the story more intriguing is that Weiner's explanation keeps changing, from "My account was hacked," to "Uh..., I mean it was a prank," to "No comment -- talk to my lawyer." Whatever the case, I certainly feel bad for the aforementioned Mrs. Weiner as well as for the young lady who, it seems, did not solicit the image of the pup tent in question.
I think we can all agree that it is not appropriate to subject young women to images of man-bits against their will. With that stipulated, my story for this post does not involve a young woman, but my nine year old daughter.
She is about to finish the 4th grade, and a few weeks ago, her class concluded a "Family Life" unit with the viewing of a video. Fortunately, her teacher did give parents a heads-up that it was forthcoming and offered the opportunity to preview the video. More fortunately, I took her up on the offer.
The video was, "The New improved Me: Understanding Body Changes." From the vendor,
Give young teens an information-packed explanation of male and female body changes to help them accept puberty as an exciting and important event in their lives. And a normal healthy part of growing up.
THE NEW, IMPROVED ME: UNDERSTANDING BODY CHANGES is a two-part program that is designed to explain the physical changes that boys and girls can expect to undergo during this period. The program's goal is to present puberty in a positive way, demystifying a process that can be puzzling and frightening to youngsters who are ill-informed or unprepared to face this transition. A theme that is central to both parts of the program is puberty as a natural and normal occurrence whose exact onset cannot be predicted. Every person has a different "body timer" that was set before he or she was born and can’t be slowed down or sped up.
Note: Does not cover masturbation. [Thank heavens for that! - Ed.]
The vendor indicates the grade level for this video as 5 - 9, so it would seem a bit advanced for a 4th grade class, but I checked it out with an open mind.
The video is split nicely into two parts: the first half about boys' body changes, and the second half about girls' body changes. After my preview, I sent a note back to the teacher to say I'd watched it, and it was ok for my daughter to participate. I knew the boys and girls would be separated when they watched, so I asked just to confirm that the boys would be watching only the boy half and the girls would be watching only the girls half of the movie... Right??....
The plan was to have all students watch both halves of the video. It seems the Hopkins School District had decided that it was perfectly fine for my nine year old girl to be subjected to graphic images of male genitalia as well as descriptions of semen production, erections, and ejaculation.
Upon learning that, I pulled her out of that portion of the class (she did watch the girls' part - only), but I feel bad for the parents who simply trusted that their child's teacher wouldn't show them anything inappropriate.
I understand that kids can begin puberty as early as age 10, I see the value in having my daughter learn about the changes that will soon be happening to her, and I thought the presentation of that message in the video was fine.
I am also certain, however, that she is not a little boy (I even have the long-form birth certificate to prove it!), and I do not understand what the school hopes to accomplish by presenting her with images of the male anatomy at this age.
As luck would have it, there was a School Board meeting that very week, so I took the opportunity to pose this question directly to them. The meeting was recorded for the public, so if you want to hear what I had to say, use this link, select the May 19, 2011 meeting (warning - big file), and go to the 8:00 mark.
They still haven't answered the question directly, but I was contacted by the person who coordinates the curricula for the district and was invited to be a parent representative when they update the health curricula and materials during next school year. I absolutely will be participating, and I pray that I can have some influence regarding the age-propriety of future materials.
In the meantime, please consider this a reminder to parents of school-aged children to remain ever-vigilant about knowing what their kids are being taught.
Thursday, May 26, 2011
Thursday, May 19, 2011
Well, apparently the Russian Army benefited from that wisdom lately.
That said, given that dog food ain't exactly cheap--even the cheap stuff is at least 50 cents a pound--I'm not quite sure that feeding the troops dog food actually saved money vs. buying, say, flour and making a substance called "bread." However, I dare suggest that if the generals wanted to destroy morale, they could hardly have chosen a more cost effective way of accomplishing it.