The trick will be getting her to let you borrow it. I don't generally make it a point to root around MM's undie drawer.Friday, November 27, 2009
GOM Christmas gift ideas
The trick will be getting her to let you borrow it. I don't generally make it a point to root around MM's undie drawer.Thursday, November 26, 2009
Public Service Announcement for all grumpy old men
You are all aware that cardiovascular health is important; whether you are over 50 like Night Writer, or still a young pup like PalmBoy
It is extremely important to incorporate exercise into our daily routine. This is necessary to maintain cardiovascular health and maintain muscle mass.
If you are over 50, you might want to take it easy at first, then do more repetitions as you become more proficient and build stamina.
Always consult your doctor before starting any exercise program!
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That's enough for the first day. Great job.
Have a beer.
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
Be on the lookout
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
Support Government Health Care and You'll Never Die
"Today we vote whether to even discuss one of the greatest issues of our generation – indeed, one of the greatest issues this body has ever face: whether this nation will finally guarantee its people the right to live free from the fear of illness and death, which can be prevented by decent health care for all."Immortality at last!
(HT: Protein Wisdom)
Just think if he used his brilliant mind for the good of mankind...
Michael Plank arrested at Los Angeles International Airport for strapping 15 lizards to chest
The flight time from Australia to Los Angeles is about 14 or 15 hours. I hope he made sure all the little critters went potty before he boarded the plane.
The guy decided to screw up his life for the chance to make $8000. (unless of course he has some kind of lizard fetish and was going to keep them for himself)
'Tis the season to be an inconsiderate tool
The Salvation Army bell ringers were out in full force as they have been for a couple weeks now. Of course, these volunteers are (almost) without exception cheerful and polite, wishing passers by a happy holiday regardless of whether they make a donation. Tonight, though, I felt the urge to contribute.
The bell ringer this time was actually a collection of ringers -- a dad with his two young boys. As I put the money in the kettle, the boys smiled, said 'thank you,' and kept on ringing happily.
Then, I noticed the dad. He had his head down, staring at the screen of his iWhatever, texting with one hand and less-than-half-heartedly ringing his bell with the other. He didn't even bother to lift his head up to the folks walking by, apparently figuring he'd sufficiently delegated the pleasantries to the boys.
I'm probably overreacting, but if you're going to ring the bell for the Salvation Army, ring the damn bell. There's a time for multitasking, but that was just rude. I think what annoyed me the most was the example he was setting for his sons. Fortunately, it looks like they got their manners from their mother.
Revenge of the Deer
It reminds me of the cartoon (caution, Adult Content) about the deer... "Here's your deer sausage!"
Never underestimate the audacity of a buck in rut.
*Grunt!*
After seeing this....
Or, put differently, if the IQ scale is truly a normal distribution, we know who occupies the negative portion of the curve. Environmentalists and animal rights activists.
(and just to make things clear, my friend ColdFusionGuy is not one of them!)
Grammar lesson
1. highly offensive; disgusting: a rank sight of carnage.
2. grossly coarse, vulgar, or indecent: rank language.
With that in mind, here is the lesson:
One cannot spell the name of Alan Stuart Franken without "a rank stale fart."
That is all.
Actions have consequenses
IF YOU CROSS THE IRANIAN BORDER ILLEGALLY, YOU ARE DETAINED INDEFINITELY.
IF YOU CROSS THE AFGHAN BORDER ILLEGALLY, YOU GET SHOT.
IF YOU CROSS THE SAUDI ARABIAN BORDER ILLEGALLY, YOU WILL BE JAILED.
IF YOU CROSS THE CHINESE BORDER ILLEGALLY, YOU MAY NEVER BE HEARD FROM AGAIN.
IF YOU CROSS THE VENEZUELAN BORDER ILLEGALLY, YOU WILL BE BRANDED A SPY AND YOUR FATE WILL BE SEALED.
IF YOU CROSS THE CUBAN BORDER ILLEGALLY, YOU WILL BE THROWN INTO POLITICAL PRISON TO ROT.
HOWEVER, IF YOU CROSS THE U.S. BORDER ILLEGALLY, YOU GET A JOB, A DRIVERS LICENSE, SOCIAL SECURITY CARD, WELFARE, FOOD STAMPS, CREDIT CARDS, SUBSIDIZED RENT OR A LOAN TO BUY A HOUSE, FREE EDUCATION, FREE HEALTH CARE, A LOBBYIST IN WASHINGTON AND IN MANY INSTANCES, YOU CAN VOTE.
Sunday, November 22, 2009
NFC North QB Rankings - Week 11
T-1)A-Rodge (2 TD passes; 345 yards passing)
T-1)Matthew Stafford (5 TD passes; 422 yards passing)
4)J-Cut (Meh)
Saturday, November 21, 2009
Oh My Sides
But anger is a dangerous thing that one mustn't hold on to.
And then I laughed.
It's not a done deal yet, but our government seems hell-bent on taking over the health care system. Eventually that becomes a funny idea. Sure, the generational theft, the covetousness, the disregard for consequences, the fanciful do-goodism, sure these things are enough to make the blood boil. And boy was I hoppin' mad after I heard the news. But in another way it's funny.
The boobs in Washington are going to try to make something work that just can't work. So we'll be able to sit back and see them try to hide the fact that it's not working. They'll talk about various "solutions" all of which won't work because the simple fact remains that removing competition and imposing mandates will have made the system expensive and ineffecient. Will they talk about fixing these problems? Nope. And so we'll be able to sit back and laugh at them.
And then when they can't hide it, we'll get to see them choose scapegoats. Politicians will point the finger at somebody and explain that it is their greed that is messing everything up. I have no doubt that stories will be written about how Generation XYZ is a very selfish generation because none of them want to be doctors. And there will be stories about how greedy corporations aren't producing new medical breakthroughs anymore. No doubt some folks will call for some kind of government intervention to fix the problem. And so we'll be able to sit back and laugh at them.
Also, we'll get to hear them making all kinds of promises of how, when they're elected, they will protect the health care that we have paid for and that we deserve. They'll butter us up and talk to us as if we're responsible adults, not wards of the state, and they say things like, "I will fight, FIGHT to protect your rights!" and "I promise not to cut one thin dime of benefits." And so we'll be able to sit back and laugh at them.
Oh yes, this is going to be quite the treat, especially if you like lying, scapegoating, pandering and posturing!!! Oh, and if you like lousy and expensive health care then you're in luck too.
Friday, November 20, 2009
OK, that's just wrong!
But it's also a reminder on how quickly life is movin' on.
Over the summer I got in contact with the girlfriend I had in 8th grade. I literally hadn't talked to her in almost 25 years, so there has been a lot to catch up on. Since she's only two weeks younger than I, we have a lot of the same interests. However, life has taken us on two dramatically different paths.
Her status update for today: "Can't wait for my second grandchild to make her 1st appearance!!!!"
With that, I have begun to ascertain one of the downsides of Facebook. It reminds me how old I am.
Thursday, November 19, 2009
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Pronoun Antecedents
Pronouns without antecedents
Clearly are not very clear.
"He is gaffe-tastic, imprudent!"
Might refer to any old dear.
"He doesn't know history" could be
A word about any old joe.
"He bows" and "he scrapes" and "he grovels"
Don't have to refer to B.O.
How about it?
....and hopefully the worst two teams in the country would be from the South....
TOTUS goes rogue again
Obama's Home Teleprompter Malfunctions During Family Dinner
In fairness to the President, I am also guilty of calling my daughter "Jennifer" from time to time. Of course, that's her name...
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Aside: I thought I recognized the blonde reporter in this clip. After several minutes of intense Googling, I'm 95% sure "Ana Gentry" is Suzanne Sena, former Fox News babe. I'm glad she's still working -- I wonder if ridiculing Obama qualifies as a job "saved or created" by the administration.
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
Ninja FAIL
SEATTLE (AP) — Seattle police say a man who thought he was a ninja was impaled on a metal fence when he tried to leap over it.
An officer who was looking for an assault victim nearby Monday night heard the man screaming for help.
Police supported him to prevent further injuries until medics arrived and took him to a hospital, where he was in serious condition in intensive care on Tuesday.
Police spokeswoman Renee Witt wrote in a department Web site posting that officers thought the man might have been involved in the reported assault, but he insisted he was just a ninja trying to clear a 4- to 5-foot-tall fence.
Witt says the man was "overconfident in his abilities," and that alcohol likely played a role.
Alcohol played a role? I'm stunned.
Add it to the list, everyone. Alcohol does not make you smarter, better looking, a better dancer, a better singer, ...
Or a ninja.
Fill in the bubble contest....
GOM Christmas gift ideas......I'll take two

Good news for Michigan fans!
Monday, November 16, 2009
You got a license to fly that?
"I got your Music City Miracle right here!
Difference is, of course, the Titans won their game.
Sunday, November 15, 2009
How 'Bout Them Cowboahs?

Saturday, November 14, 2009
Pizza Trivia
It is a square pizza, with a thick deep-dish crust with toppings placed under the sauce.
The crust of a Detroit-style pizza is especially noteworthy in that, in addition to occasionally being twice-baked, it is baked to a chewy medium-well done state, and many parlors will apply melted butter with a soft brush prior to baking.
It's a matter of priorities
In the end, the AP contends that the former governor of Alaska may have fudged on some things, like Palin's claims of frugality when conducting state business. However, the AP's exhaustive research uncovered one instance where a five-day trip to a women's leadership conference cost the Alaskan taxpayers (GASP) $3,000!!
Seriously?!?!?!
Say, now that you're done with that all-important, vital piece of "fact-checking", I suggest taking on a much more daunting (if not infinitely more relevant) task: How about reading the entire 1,900+ page health care bill which recently passed in the U.S. House? Any chance you could uphold the claims made by Nancy Pelosi & Co. that this
Get back to us on that, will ya?
Love and Hate (Liberal Edition)

Liberals hate some people doing better than others, especially the wrong people.

Liberals love the idea that we can make things better, especially if we work together.

Liberals hate the idea that man is inherently imperfect and that life necessarily contains sorrow.
Liberals love sharing.
Liberals hate rich folks who think that they deserve to be rich because of their hard work.
Friday, November 13, 2009
Tark the shark
“I think it’s despicable. What he put the Packers through last year was not good. Here’s an organization that was loyal to him for 17, 18 years, provided stability of organization, provided players. It just wasn’t about Brett Favre. In this day and time, we have glorified the Brett Favre’s of the world so much, they think it’s about them."
Shortly after Tarkenton made those comments, KFAN radio guy Dan Barreiro pointed out that Tark implying that someone is self-absorbed was the equivalent of Michael Vick condemning a person for smacking a dog with a newspaper.
But I digress.
Now that Tark has had to digest a little crow due to Favre's solid performance thus far this season, Sir Francis has taken to savaging another NFC North quarterback. This time it's the Bears' Jay Cutler who is the object of his ire.
"I really question whether he can play," Tarkenton, the Hall of Fame quarterback and former Minnesota Viking, said Friday on "The Waddle and Silvy Show" on ESPN 1000 in Chicago. "Quarterbacks need to make their team better. If it's a bad team, they can even make a bad team better. Somebody may say well, even Peyton Manning couldn't help the Bears. Yes, he could. Tom Brady could, too. They might not win the championship or get to the playoffs, but they would make that team better. Those wide receivers who are struggling would be better because they would make them better."
Has Fran gotten bored? I mean, he's more than welcome to sound off on any subject he desires. But ever since he had the opportunity to
NFC North QB Ratings — Week 9.5
2. Randy Wright
3. Rodney Peete
4. Bob Avellini
Subject to further revision after Sunday's results.
Cash for Clunkers Chart of Comparison
Beneficial, no?Thursday, November 12, 2009
GOM Christmas gift ideas
Here's a thought
I always thought that real men played rugby or Aussie rules anyways. You can't put on an extra 100 lbs of muscle and fat if you actually have to run around with it.
Odocoileus virginianus
The wife shot at and missed three deer.
I saw a bunch of does and an eight point buck walked under but BEHIND my stand and did not offer me a shot.
My brother-in-law shot a spiker and an eight pointer.
Three days hunted; seven more to hunt!
This is kinda what I am looking for:

Or something like this:

Or this:

2009:
TBD
2008:
6 pointer
Doe
2007:
10 pointer (200+ lbs)
Spiker
2006:
10 pointer (200+ lbs)
5 pointer
Doe
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Holy Hind's Behind Batman
Illinois Driver Hits Two Deer in 10 Minutes
when this frickin deer comes bolting across the road right in front of me. I would guess that I came within two feet of ramming right into it's ass. By the time my own butt cheeks became unglued, I had forgotten about trying to abuse Gino, and was just thankful my little Saturn survived another close encounter with Bambi.
Jumping to conclusions
President Obama, following the terrorist massacre at Fort Hood: "We don't know all the answers yet and I would caution against jumping to conclusions until we have all the facts."
So what's the difference between the two situations? In the former, few details about the incident were yet available when Obama made his decree. In the latter, we know the shooter, Maj. Nidal Hasan, had a history of anti-Americanism, had or sought ties with Al Qaeda, and shouted "Allahu Akbar" right before he started spraying bullets.
As more details come out about Hasan, Obama is still unwilling to acknowledge the Fort Hood shooting for what it is: the first terror attack on American soil since 9/11.
Maybe we can at least agree that Hasan acted stupidly? Or maybe Obama will host a beer summit with Hasan and the victims' families.

Star Tribune Almost Gets it Right!
So says the Star Tribune's editorial today. I couldn't agree more. Of course the twits on Portland Avenue aren't actually talking about the bill that passed the US House of Representatives on Saturday night. You know, the one that is trying to take over the whole freakin' American health care system. No, these chronically obtuse journalists are talking about the amendment that passed beforehand to ensure that abortion would not be funded. Because for enlightened Americans the only cause for concern is that the feds won't be paying for baby killing. Because not paying for baby killing when you conduct a legislative coup d'etat over a sixth of the economy is the really radical and backward thing.
PS: Chemosh and Molech are surely pissed off that their subsidy got cut.
The Health Insurance Deform Bill, Explained
The way to reduce healthcare costs and make healthcare affordable for all is to look up everything the insurance companies tell us would be ruinously expensive, and write all of those things into law.
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Some Further Thoughts
But Dirty Harry mode is a lousy way to live; it's reactionary. It's incapable of creating life or sustaining it. It's all about catharsis, but catharsis goes flat. It's about setting people straight, but other people aren't objects and life isn't that mechanistic. However tempting the thought might be, it won't work to simply impose one's will. That, after all, is the problem in America. Folks are usurping the law (or ignoring it) to impose their will.
So what to do with this crap sandwich? My lovely wife is a Godsend (both literally and figuratively). As I prattled on about these things one night she cut me off.
Though the fig tree should not blossom, nor fruit be on the vines,Isn't it nice to have a wife who quotes Habakkuk? But I needed to hear that. And I need to hear it every day. My security does not come from government, it comes from God. Full stop. I will be secure in him all my days no matter the foolishness that men concoct. However, that does not mean that I resign myself to it. Quite the contrary. As a man made free by Christ I am a slave to no other. And of course that is the very basis upon which this country was founded! I never memorized the Declaration of Independence, but I think it's a good idea. I think I'll do it with my kids. For the time being, though, here is a particularly striking paragraph that attests to these ideas and the promise that remains for a brighter future.
the produce of the olive fail and the fields yield no food,
the flock be cut off from the fold and there be no herd in the stalls,
yet I will rejoice in the Lord;
I will take joy in the God of my salvation.
God, the Lord, is my strength;
he makes my feet like the deer's;
he makes me tread on my high places.
We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights, that among these are life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. That to secure these rights, governments are instituted among men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed. That whenever any form of government becomes destructive to these ends, it is the right of the people to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their safety and happiness. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shown that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such government, and to provide new guards for their future security.
Some Thoughts on the State of America
Once, when I was in college, I watched Goodfellas. I hated it. There was something about that movie that just gave me the creeps. Thinking back, I hated how gangsters treated weaker people like garbage; they could do whatever they liked because they had the power. I felt the injustice of it all. Also, I feared the brazen lawlessness. And, truth be told, I wanted those people to suffer and die because they had violated what it means to be civilized human beings and because their existence was a threat to decency.
I think that the reason I have such hatred for what Congress and President Obama are doing is because they show so little regard for the law and for other people. My impression of them is that they are operating on the basis of power, without concern for law or truth. And so I despise them because they are a threat to civilization and basic human decency. Also, I fear them because without law, the future becomes arbitrary. When a society ceases to respect rules, security can only come from having power.
Taking a broader view, however, Obama and this particular Congress, much though I dislike them, are not the problem, they are the symptom. The problem is that this society seems not to respect the law anymore. Our government doesn't respect its own law, the Constitution. Judges aren't bound by the law, but bind others with it. We don't take our own immigration law seriously. Politicians are not help to account for ethics violations. Elections are swayed by fraud and lawyers while common sense reforms like required photo ID are rejected. Our society seems like it is becoming arbitrary. Getting and keeping power becomes exceedingly important, because your own rights are not safe when the other folks are in power.
And so that's it. I'm so concerned about the health care debate because I feel vulnerable to arbitrary power. I no longer trust the government to respect the limits of the law. They might decide to do absolutely anything. Interestingly, this is the exact reason that the War for Independence broke out 233 years ago.
(I'm leaving out something big, or rather, someone. A bit more later.)
Ya know why....
In other Chicago news, Hizzoner Daley has been caught with a slush fund of property tax revenue while the city isn't bothering to pick up trash. With competence like that, it's clear where the Bears are getting their inspiration this year.
Monday, November 9, 2009
Sunday, November 8, 2009
Grumpy Old Man of the Week
Fists Fly After Post Editor Tells Writer, "It's the Second Worst Story I Have Seen in Style in 43 Years"
Here's something they apparently don't teach in Journalism school: reporters with hyphenated last names shouldn't call their editor a name that requires a lot more hyphens when it appears in a family newspaper if:
- The editor is 70-years-old
- a Pulitzer Prize-winning
- an ex-marine
NFC North QB rankings thru Week 9
2) J-Cut
3)
4) Greg Landry
(I changed this a little, Brad. David Whitehurst lost plenty of games to dorks in orange shirts--Mr. D).







