Wednesday, December 23, 2009

What's the worst Christmas gift you've ever given or received?

When I was 17 I gave my future sister in-law a polished stone egg on stand. The look of "what in the hell am I gonna do with this" was classic. Last year a friend of my wife gave me porcelain teddy bear mug. Oh boy!


  1. I got a used radio. My parents didn't have much money, I had asked for a radio, so they gave me a used one. I was so disappointed, but understood that they didn't have the money as well.

  2. Stuff from the "bargain" rack at Bugle Boy. It was cut off grain, so it might fit someone with severe scoliosis, and since it was from the bargain rack, one couldn't even get a rebate.

  3. Pen and pencil sets. For about 3 years in a row. One of them was engraved and my name was spelled wrong.

  4. I got a crap sandwich once. My congress gave it to me. Wait a second. That's this year. Dang.

  5. only homos wear bugle boy anyway.

    the worst thing i ever gave was homebaked cookies to my grandafather (the kind he loved and couldnt get anymore after grandma passed). but i had forgotten he was diagnosed with a heavy case of diabetes just a few months before.
    i felt like shit.

    worst thing i ever got? i have no idea, cause i really dont pay atten to anything i get, unless its something really hugely impressive. i'm really more into giving than getting. sounds hokey, but thats just the way i am.

  6. Not to compete with GOM laureate WBP, but I wrote the following and have used it several times on cards for gift exchanges at work. Heh.

    Christmas Wear

    At Christmas when I was a boy,
    my hopes were set on getting toys.
    I’d scramble underneath the tree,
    and find just Hanes or BVDs.
    My mother, to avoid a rift,
    would smile and say, “What a great gift!
    Just what you need, and just your size,
    so thoughtful, too. What a surprise!
    Say thank you to this aunt or that,”
    then cheeks were pinched and my head pat.
    And my young mind was therefore bent,
    about what makes a great present.
    Now that I’m grown I give away,
    just underwear on Christmas day.
    I’ve given boxers, and I’ve given briefs,
    and longjohns, too, with no relief.
    Through it all I’ve not relented,
    giving some with flies, and some non-vented.
    Finest silk and polished cotton,
    is all my friends have ever gotten.
    Little hearts and smiley faces,
    some with buttons, some with laces,
    little bikinis and slingshot gee’s,
    have all found their way beneath the trees.
    There’s no length I wouldn’t dare go,
    to find shorts that play “Bolero”.
    If you think that that’s incredible,
    there’ve been some that were even edible!
    “What’s in this box?” you’re thinking now,
    with beads of sweat upon your brow,
    “how embarrassing can this get,” and
    “how could he know if they will fit?”
    Just open and see, and though it sounds strange,
    People and underwear both can change.

  7. Wow R.A. You've turned your scar into a star! Glad I'm not on your list!

  8. the worst gift I ever gave was when I embarrassed myself giving my nephews some wooden trucks - just dumb, that they didn't like.

  9. What useless/tacky gift could compare with yesteryear's soap-on-a-rope?

  10. My boy loves his wooden truck and tractor made by his granddad.....