A 74-year-old Lakeland woman was hospitalized after being mauled by a pack of raccoons she tried to shoo from her yard.
Actually, she was mauled by a nursery of raccoons; or, a gaze of raccoons. I saw both of those terms used for a group of masked bandits.
The woman is 74, and has probably survived and experience a lot of things in life; thankfully it wasn't ended by a rogue gang of raccoons. I'm not quite sure where on the list of my least favorite ways to die I'd put being mauled to death by raccoons. It would for sure be in the top 50.
Obama can put that on the list of ways he will allow for seniors to die.
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