Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Hey, this new gum is dynamite!

Exploding Chewing Gum Blows Off College Student's Jaw
A chemistry student in the Ukraine was found dead with his jaw blown off by what is believed to be exploding chewing gum, according to reports.

The 25-year-old's disfigured remains were discovered at his parent's home in the northern Ukrainian city of Konotop, reports in the Eastern European country said.

The young man, who studied at Kiev Polytechnic Institute, was working at a computer late on Saturday when the alleged explosion happened.

"A loud pop was heard from the student's room," the ukranews.com Web site said, citing an aide to the city's police chief.

"When his relatives entered the room, they saw that the lower part of the young man's face had been blown off."

A forensic examination established that the chewing gum was covered with an unidentified chemical substance, thought to be some type of explosive material....

"The lower part of the young man's face had been blown off," and the news report calls it an "alleged explosion?"

Seriously, though, in a statement obtained from the ADA, they discouraged in the strongest possible terms the use of explosives with chewing gum. Like the ad says: "Four out of five dentists surveyed recommend non-exploding gum for their patients who chew gum."

Although... That would be a novel marketing approach:
Try new Ka-Boom! gum, guaranteed to remove harmful plaque from teeth. Now available in Banana Burst, Raspberry Rupture, and Ground Zero Grape flavors!

5 comments:

  1. Sounds like Spearmint Semtex.

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  2. when we were kids, that bubble gum that went squirt was a big new thing.

    who knew somebody would find a way to take it to the next level.

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  3. PS - I corrected the spelling of "dynamite" in the title of the post, so as not to confuse anyone seeking references to Jimmy "JJ" Walker.

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  4. That last paragraph... possibly good enough for all time greatest string of puns, at least so far amongst you grumpy old men.

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  5. Just keep the inventor away from the pork and beans!

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