Texas humor (from my brother in Houston)

In Mason , Texas , where there is a large German speaking population.

A farmer walking down a country road notices a man drinking from his pond with his hand.

The farmer shouted:

'Trink das wasser nicht. Die kuehe haben da reingeschissen.'

(Which means: 'Don't drink the water, the cows have shit in it.')

The man shouted back:

'I'm from New York and just down here campaigning for Obama’s health care plan, I can't understand you. Please speak in English.'

The farmer replied:

'Use two hands, you'll get more water.'